I HATE: Fox and Friends.

Seriously, the morning show on Fox News is an idiots' convention which takes off before I've had any coffee... read, before I am equipped to deal with such nonsense. Seriously, the other day they had Matt Leinart--to whom, as the new quarterback of the Arizona Cardinals, I extend my deepest sympathies--on the show, and they were talking about fantasy football and having a skills competition. They asked him about whether on he'd played Fantasy Football, and before explaining that NCAA's regulations, admittedly ridiculous, don't allow for college football players to do that, the look on his face was classic: 'Christ, I play football for a living and I'm not nearly as dumb as you.'

They also asked a doctor some health questions from viewers, and one asked if drinking eight cups of decaf green tea was healthy. Fair enough, I drink about eight cups of coffee a day (I was working on my third by then), so this isn't a bad question. When he mentions caffeine build up as a result of all the tea, no joke, all three hosts jump on him, reminding him: Hey pal! She said DECAF!

I know sixth graders who know that decaf coffees and teas still have a little caffeine in them. And this from the network that brings us SPECIAL REPORT WITH BRIT HUME, the finest political news broadcast in the United States. Hume is sharp, concise, wears great suits, and from his demeanor, he might even drink as much coffee as I do. He doesn't mess around, and if you doubt me, just wait for the next time the Fox all-stars step out of line.

ALL HAIL HUME!