No matter how bad things seem to get, somewhere else they’re bound to be worse. This lesson has been hammered home after almost a month in the People’s Republic of Oregon. True, Ohio is facing America’s third heaviest tax burden and an economy resembling 1980’s-era Eastern Europe, but it could be worse. It’s also the case that Ohio’s Republican Party was recently swept from power after the least popular governor in history led the state to almost total ruin. At least Ohio’s Republican Party had races to lose this year. Oregon’s political, economic, and social climate is very different from that of Ohio and makes me very glad to be an adopted Ohioan.

Ohio’s economy might be in trouble, but at least the state and local government (as well as large segments of the population) isn’t openly hostile to business. Schumacher Furs & Outerwear, a fixture in downtown Portland since 1895, is preparing for an “evacuation sale” after being chased away with nothing short of torches and pitchforks. The store had faced a year’s worth of protests, trespasses, vandalism, and even bomb threats from animal rights activists and eco-terrorists. In light of this, Gregg Schumacher- who says he is afraid to enter his own store- was told by the city and police to negotiate with those who would shut him down. He isn’t putting up with this, and he shouldn’t have to. Schumacher has said that he is packing up and leaving the city limits for an undisclosed location. The City of Portland’s unwillingness to defend a legitimate business peddling a legal product hardly comes as a surprise to anyone with a familiarity in eco-terrorism. Portland is well known as the Beirut of eco-terrorism, with several organizations, such as the Earth Liberation Front and Earth First!, having substantial bases of operation.

Socially Oregonians are more secular than Ohioans are religious. Oregon is second only to next-door Washington in percentage of people declaring themselves “not religious” at 24%. This is compared with 26% of French who say the same. A poll suggested that around fifteen percent of French citizens attend church regularly. A staggering twelve percent of Oregonians do the same. As you would expect, Oregon is firmly under the yoke of political correctness, “Holiday Trees” and all. Local radio talk show host Lars Larson tried to protest this with a Christmas Cross he would place in Pioneer Courthouse Square last year. This plan was abandoned when the tolerant and inclusive citizens of Portland made threats against the cross and Larson himself. At this rate Oregon will join Albania and China as the only governments in the world to declare themselves officially atheist.

Oregon is also marching down the road of becoming a one-party state. Ohio Republicans were chased out of the statewide offices last November, but at least they had races to lose. The only Republican to win a statewide race this century is Oregon’s Junior Senator Gordon Smith. Rumor has it he might not last much longer either, facing re-election in 2008. Unbelievably, Oregon- already a solid navy- is getting even bluer. The GOP lost the State Senate in 2002 and the State House in November, giving Democrats complete control of the state. Even abandoning social and economic conservatism hasn’t improved the GOP’s fortunes. Portland’s own Ron Saxton, a self-described moderate, was crushed in his bid for the Governorship last month. I believe Ohio can be saved with a little ingenuity and a few big ideas on the part of the ORP. My native Oregon, however, has been a lost cause for as long as I can remember. The state can rot in the hell their residents don’t believe in.

Neoconservatives today are mourning the recent loss of one of the architects of their movement, Jeane Kirkpatrick, who passed away Thursday. Kirkpatrick was seen as an American Thatcher who greatly shaped foreign policy in America, particularly as United States Ambassador to the United Nations during the Reagan years (the first woman to hold the position). She authored the Kirkpatrick Doctrine as a means to deal with communism and totalitarian regimes. She more recently called on the United States to declare war on the entire Islamic terrorist network following the September 11 attacks. Perhaps most notably, she described Democrats as they were in 1984 and as they still are: “San Francisco Democrats” who “blame America first.”

In many ways, Kirkpatrick was a pioneer in the field of foreign policy, especially given the prominent school of thought at the time. Presidents Nixon, Ford, and Carter embraced “détente” with the Soviet Union, just wanting to co-exist and get along. Ronald Reagan and Jeane Kirkpatrick, on the other hand, saw things as they were, not as beltway insiders or eastern establishment intellectuals would have liked them to have been. They called the Soviet Union an evil empire because it was. They sought to undermine communism where it existed and repel it where it did not. They didn’t want to just get along with Soviet communism, they wanted to defeat it, and through their resolve and determination, they succeeded. Perhaps more remarkably, they succeeded in spite of the best efforts of a Democrat Congress who opposed every move they made and threw every conceivable obstacle in their way.

At the 1984 Republican National Convention, Kirkpatrick called out her fellow lifelong Democrats on their recent foreign policy follies and their fundamental shift from the ideals of Truman, Kennedy, and Johnson. Indeed, her views on foreign policy and liberalism ring true today. Foreign policy matters- in her time the Soviet Union, in 2006 Islamic terrorism- are central to the freedom, prosperity, and yes, the survival of the United States. Today, just as they were in 1984, Democrats are offering the wrong policies. Democrats wanted détente, nuclear freeze, and peaceful coexistence with the Soviet Union. Today, they want an immediate pullout from Iraq (a strategy even the recently commissioned Iraq Study Group has debunked) and negotiations with Iran, Syria, and North Korea. By the way, Iran is that country that recently convened a conference to determine whether or not the Holocaust occurred. Kirkpatrick described Democrats not as behaving like hawks or even doves but like ostriches, thinking they would be safe from the world’s problems by simply hiding their heads in the sand.

Jeane Kirkpatrick was one of the first influential neoconservatives along with Senator Henry “Scoop” Jackson and Irving Kristol who bolted from their ideological backgrounds and put American interests ahead of partisan ones. She in fact held something in common with the President she worked for: the Democratic Party left them, not vice-versa. Maybe what the Democrats need are more conservative (or at least clear-thinking) members who realize that fundamentalist, blood-thirsty Muslim terrorists are America’s enemy, not George Bush. Maybe they need more Zell Millers who vote for the interests of Americans fearful of additional terrorist attacks instead of unionized federal airport screeners concerned a 40 hour work week might be too strenuous. How appropriate that Kirkpatrick should have called this new batch of loony liberals “San Francisco Democrats.” Now we get to see what happens when we make one of them Speaker.

There’s a saying that the Chinese have the same word for “crisis” as they do for “opportunity.” That being said, the Republican Party is now facing a defining crisitunity. Yes, they got “thumped” in Congress as well as downright slaughtered in the Buckeye State, but the opportunity comes in recognizing why it was they lost. The “six year itch” played a role, and so did the Iraq war. The series of events and scandals in Washington and Columbus so unfortunate Lemony Snicket wouldn’t touch them certainly didn’t help matters. The most important reason the Republicans were ousted earlier this month was not because of their conservatism but because they strayed from it.

For my second cliché, politicians are known to dance with the ones who brought them to the party or face the consequences. It wasn’t all that long ago (twelve to sixteen years, in fact) that the Ohio Republican Party and the Republican National Committee stood for something. Fed up with Democratic domination in the state and in Congress for a generation, Republicans put together a simple set of principles so voters knew where they stood, how they differed from the Democrats, and what they’d accomplish if entrusted with power. The most obvious example of this was the Contract With America which allowed Republicans to sweep to power in 1994. Newt Gingrich and the Republicans campaigned on change- real, actual change, not simple rejection of the other party- in Washington and across the country. They campaigned on fiscal responsibility, limited government, curbed bureaucracy, tort reform, economic growth, Social Security restructuring, streamlining the welfare state, strengthening national security, and upholding American values. Sound familiar?

Contrast the Gingrich Revolution with the party you saw on November 7. Deficits and government spending have grown at record levels. Bureaucracy has remained at best as cluttered as it was twelve years ago. Tort reform and Social Security reform remain unaccomplished goals even through six years of united Republican government. And yes, that government has expanded beyond Lyndon Baines Johnson’s wildest dreams. Earmarks and pet pork barrel projects usually reserved for the Senior Senator from West Virginia have climbed in to the thousands. Perhaps most distressing of all, Republicans have wavered and faltered even on values issues. Can anyone tell me what Republicans were able to accomplish on immigration, stem cell research, marriage, or abortion? Apparently it wasn’t enough for Republicans to be divisive on social issues. Now they’ve become incoherent as well.

There is, of course, a better way. A way back to victory. Of course, like everything else in politics, it won’t be easy. Unless they’re are willing to become the minority party for yet another decade, and unless they’re ready to salute Madame President in two years, Republicans as a whole must return to ideas-based conservatism. Americans voted for ideas in 1994 that would transform their country and rid Washington of the waste and corruption that had plagued it for forty years. Republicans represented a positive agenda for change and innovation and made a strong case to the American people that conservatism could help them too. It is imperative but not impossible for Republicans in Ohio and across the nation to return to the roots of their revolution twelve years ago. The alternative is yet another generation on the sidelines of political power. Truly that would be a crisis.

Hello, I wish to register a complaint! Never mind that you’re closed for lunch, but I wish to register a complaint against this state to which I moved not four years ago.

“Oh yes, the Buckeye State. What’s wrong with it?”

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. It’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!

“Oh no, it’s just resting.”

Look matey, I know a dead state when I see one, and I’m living in one right now!

“No, no, it’s just resting! Remarkable state, Ohio. Beautiful foliage!”

The foliage doesn’t enter in to it. It’s stone dead. And if it’s resting, how about I wake it up? HELLO OHIO! FORTY-SEVENTH IN JOB CREATION! THIRD HIGHEST TAX . . .

“There! We just elected a new Governor, it’s Turning Around right now!”

No it’s not, we just got more of the same from our worst Governor in recent history. HELLO OHIO!! TESTING! TESTING! DECIMATED PRIVATE SECTOR! THOUSANDS OF JOBS LOST! UNEMPLOYABLE COLLEGE GRADUATES!! Now that’s what I call a dead state.

“No, no . . . it’s stunned! Ohio stuns easily! We’ve been in and out of recessions before, and all we need is an auto plant or two. In fact, Ohio’s just pining for the Fords!”

Pining for the Fords? What kind of talk is that? The auto plant we lost out on to Indiana wouldn’t have done anything to save our economy. We just decided to raise the minimum wage every year forever, which will destroy small businesses and price college kids like you and I out of the job market. And now that every statewide office is controlled by the Democrats, we could have a government shutdown on our hands. Now listen, I took the liberty of examining the last time we had gridlock in this state, and I found that the only reason the General Assembly passed budgets on time to keep the government running is because all the clocks had been papered over.

“Well of course they were papered over! And don’t you worry! We’re going to invest in education, help out our small businesses, provide tax relief for working families, and then watch out! Voom! Ohio will be booming again!”

Voom? Matey, this state wouldn’t voom if you put four million volts through it! It’s bleeding demised! It’s not pining, it’s passed on! This state is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone on to meet its maker! Bereft of life, Ohio rests in peace! If you hadn’t papered over the clocks you’d be draping it with a flag! THIS IS AN EX-STATE!

“Well . . . you want to move to California?”

Yeah, all right, sure.

Well folks, this is it. The last chance I have to save my country. One last desperate act to reach deep down in to your soul and make you think- possibly for the first time this year- about what you might be about to do. To give you some insight on what might happen if you decide tomorrow that you’re too angry or disaffected with one or both parties to show up. This is probably the most important midterm election of our lifetime. This election has the potential to affect every American, voting or not. It can possibly reshape our national priorities and policy objectives, and change the course of American politics for at least the next two years. And in this case, that’s not a good thing.

The House and Senate are up for grabs, and you happen to live in probably the most contested state in the nation right now. Democrats have their sights set on at least four members of Congress who have represented their districts well and have proudly stood up for what is right (hey, at least Bob Ney didn’t store thousands of dollars in his freezer). They’ve resorted to catfight tactics to shoot down Deborah Pryce, one of the most powerful and influential women in Washington. They’ve brought back a 79 year old one-term Congressman from the political graveyard to run against Pat Tiberi because Democrats didn’t have enough zombies in their caucus. They’re also making desperate grabs in Southern Ohio to hack off Steve Chabot and Jean Schmidt. Too bad they couldn’t run Paul Hackett again, who claimed in the infamous 2005 special election that George Bush was the most dangerous man in the world.

We are indeed blessed in that Ohioans get to choose who controls the Senate. The choice for United States Senator from Ohio should be clear. Senator Mike DeWine might not be perfect, he might not even agree with you on every issue (I know he doesn’t agree with me 100% of the time), but he’s right on the important ones. Mike DeWine wants to win the Iraq War. Sherrod Brown doesn’t. Mike DeWine supports the PATRIOT Act as a way to keep Ohioans and Americans safe from terrorist attacks. Sherrod Brown doesn’t. Mike DeWine supports tax cuts so that hard-working Americans can keep more of the money they earn. Sherrod Brown doesn’t. Mike DeWine supports traditional marriage and the right to life. Sherrod Brown doesn’t. ‘Nuff said.

Ohioans also have a choice as to who will represent their interests on the state level for the next four years. Again, the choice is clear. Love him or hate him, Ohioans know what Ken Blackwell believes in and what he stands for. They know he has a plan- a real plan- to change Ohio, to simplify the tax code, to cut wasteful government spending, to reform the decrepit education system, and to reinvigorate Ohio’s economy. There is one measly day before Election Day and I still don’t know what Ted Strickland stands for. The Columbus Dispatch has a guess in their ironic endorsement of him. While blasting Governor Taft-and-Spend for dragging Ohio down to the abyss, they endorsed Strickland because he would be most able to continue Taft’s policies! Ohioans are sick of “more of the same,” but that’s just what they’ll get if Ted Strickland is elected Governor. I’m giving very serious thought to leaving Ohio after graduation, and I fear I may take 100,000 of my closest friends with me before the decade is out.

That, of course, is not the worst of it. Democrats and the mainstream media have been barely able to contain their glee over tomorrow’s seemingly foregone conclusion. If their high-stepping and dancing have any basis in reality, conservatives like you and me ought to cower in fear. The words “Speaker Pelosi” should strike terror in our hearts. Would-be Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers has repeatedly said impeachment is his number one priority. If you thought this past Congress got nothing done, wait until the entire city is paralyzed by scandal after concocted scandal and impeachment fever. Say goodbye to President Bush’s tax cuts too, since all that is needed for them to expire is for Congressmen to do nothing. A flurry of antiwar resolutions will fly as radical leftists on the Hill, trying desperately to cling to their college days, cut our soldiers’ feet from under them. Just like their predecessors did 30 years ago. The tools the administration have been using to keep us safe from terrorist attacks for the past five years will also disappear in what might as well be called The Al Qaeda Bill of Rights. Say goodbye to judges who don’t hallucinate when they read the Constitution if the Senate goes Democrat as well. The witch hunt that claimed Tom DeLay will look like a picnic as conservatism itself is criminalized and the few Republicans left in Congress get hauled away in handcuffs.

OK, maybe I’m exaggerating a little. But do you really want to take that chance? Statements like these are possible only because Democrats have yet to tell us what they’ll do if they do, in fact, take over. We can only guess, based on everything they’ve ever said or done since they as a party went crazy after the 2000 presidential election. We all know there are problems facing our nation, so the question facing you is simple: who do you trust in your heart to fix them? Who do you trust to keep America safe from terrorism, to keep our taxes low and our values intact? Who do you trust to come up with ideas to save Ohio’s backward economy and fix our broken state-run monopoly union bosses dare call an education system? Who do you trust to confirm judges who don’t legislate from the bench and rule by judicial decree, Constitution be damned? Those are the questions you should ask yourself before pulling the lever (or deciding to sleep in on Tuesday), and those are the stakes facing our nation. As one campaign slogan once said, vote like your whole world depended on it!